During the previous decade, there was a stretch in time in which your beloved TNU members saw every horror movie that hit the big screen. And I mean every one, no matter who was in it or what it was about.
Some movies were okay, but I can’t say I ever saw a one that I’d watch over and over again. Then there were several movies that were just laugh out bad. Three of those stand out in my mind, and I often wonder what I was thinking during my twenties.
The Omen (2006)
Directed by John Moore and starring Julia Stiles, Liev Schreiber, and Mia Farrow.
A remake of the 1976 horror classic “The Omen.” An American official realizes that his young son may literally be the devil incarnate.
“The Omen” opened in theatres on 6/6/06 (get it?) and being an idiot, i rushed to the theatre to see it. Luckily I wasn’t alone, it was the middle of the week but the movie sold out. The crowd was excited and happy, probably hoping to see a good movie. But by the time Liev Schreiber, adopted the little guy, the crowd had turned.
The next 90+ minutes were filled with either laughter and/or eye rolling. When Julia Stiles fell off the balcony, the audience cheered. Not because she fell, but because everyone hoped the end of the movie was just around the corner.
The Grudge (2004)
Directed by Takashi Shimizu and starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jason Behr, and KaDee Strickland.
An American nurse living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim.
When the highlight of the movie is Bill Pullman jumping to his death, you know you’re in for a long hour and a half.
Hide and Seek (2005)
Directed by John Polson and starring Robert De Niro, Famke Janssen and Dakota Fanning.
As a widower tries to piece together his life in the wake of his wife’s suicide, his daughter finds solace — at first — in her imaginary friend.
The filmmakers had a stong cast and decent idea, but they couldn’t figure out how to end this movie. The third act of “Hide and Seek” is so bad that it erases what was (for the first hour) kind of a decent flick.
But if you’ve never seen Robert De Niro overact, then you’re in for a treat.
There were plenty of other movies for me to choose from, but for some reason these three stand out as the low lights. The good news (if there are any) is that I spent under $20 to see them all because “The Grudge” and “Hide and Seek” were part of five dollar movie night.
But in hindsight I should have seen “Team America: World Police” again instead of “The Grudge.” I hope you kids out there learned something from all of this.