I wasn’t a huge fan of the show, and I certainly wasn’t a fan of Drew Barrymore. So why then would I pay good money to see “Charlie’s Angels”? Excellent question.
I suppose I was hoping for a fun action movie. Perhaps something along the lines of the Lethal Weapon movies. Not as dark of course, but something that was fun and exciting with likeable characters. As fate would have it, “Charlie’s Angels” was simply a 92 minute music video for fourteen year olds.
“Charlie’s Angels” starred Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu, Bill Murray, Sam Rockwell, Kelly Lynch, and Crispin Glover. The movie was directed by McG, whose claim to fame was as a music video director. I wish I’d known that going in, because it would have prepared me for what I was about to see.
The movie’s plot will be familiar to anyone who ever watched the TV show: A voice known as Charlie (John Forsythe) issues commands to the three hotties who work for his detective agency, and they perform his missions while wearing clothes bought at a used costume shop. Well maybe not exactly, but some of the costumes are ridiculous (more on this later).
The basic story involves the angels rescuing kidnapped computer genius Eric Knox (Sam Rockwell), the developer of new high-tech voice identification software, and stopping the top-secret product from falling into the wrong hands. Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong.
See, Mr. McG has 92 minutes to fill, and he does so by having the girls (unnecessarily) jumping out of planes, driving speed boats and racing cars, hacking into mainframes, and bringing large companies to a standstill with the help of a leather skirt.
All this while the girls disguise themselves as Austrian Yodellers, Men, Belly Dancers and Racing Drivers.
Besides all the cheesy lines and double entendres, the movie is loaded with mindless action scenes. I guess they were going for a Crouching Dragon type deal, but all the fight sequences come off as stupid and over the top. The CGI in the movie is terrible, especially in the opening sequence.
The movie also has shots consisting of the Angels running desperately toward the camera before a huge explosion lifts them off their feet and hurls them through the air. Yet they always survive with little injury.
As much as I loathe this movie, I can’t place a ton of blame on Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu. Yes, Drew Barrymore, was a producer on the film, but I doubt she had final say on everything. The three did what they were hired for, and it’s not their fault the script and directing was awful.
“Charlie’s Angels” is incredibly cheesy, and I guess that’s what the filmmakers were going but for me it just didn’t work. This is not the “Charlie’s Angels” I remember, this is more of a satire, and not even a good one at that.