It’s official: my childhood is over.
I may be rapidly approaching the big 4-0, but I was comforted by the fact that I still have fond memories of being parked in front of the television when I was a kid. I should say HAD fond memories, because those memories are all gone now. Please, allow me to explain:
After my wifey’s recent double knee replacement, we moved in with the in-laws for a few weeks while she recovered. With this in mind I took a TV from my house and put it in the in-laws guest room. Then the father in-law says to me “Forgot to tell you, this room isn’t hooked to the DirecTV.” Well that would have been nice to know before I hauled a 48 inch tv across town.
Anyways, for the next several weeks I got stuck watching over the air channels that I’d never heard of. Most of the channels were absolute crap, but I found some old shows I used to like. I even discovered one channel called Cozi TV that only airs old tv shows. Basically, tv shows I gre up with like “Knight Rider,” “The A-Team,” “Charlie’s Angels,” “The Six Million Dollar Man,” and more.
I was excited to say the least, but re-watching these shows with fresh eyes was a huge mistake. Now that I’m older (and wiser) all I could see where flaws in each and every show I loved as a kid. As I watched different shows, stuff kept popping up in my head like:
*What did Jonathan and Jennifer Hart do for a living, and why do they have a senior citizen for a butler?
*Airwolf only showed up for five minutes in each episode, six minutes if you count the intro.
*Why did “Hannibal” Smith always wear gloves?
*So basically Michael Knight is a vigilante.
*The Six Million Dollar Man was pretty big for an astronaut.
*If regular people can find the A-Team, why couldn’t the government?
*I think “Archangel” from “Airwolf” was my 11th grade science teacher.
*Even I wanted Jessica Fletcher dealt with after watching a “Murder, She Wrote” marathon.
So like I mentioned earlier, my childhood is officially over. If you ever think about re-watching your favorite 80’s shows… don’t.