When a man wants the perfect sandwich, there is nothing that will get between him and his favorite kind of cheese. Nothing that is, except maybe a recent high school graduate named Kristin.
In the spring of 1999, I became friends with a new co-worker named Kristin (not to be confused with my ex, Kristen). She was about a year younger than me, but we really hit it off when we realised we both liked the 1980 “Flash Gordon” movie starring Sam Jones. This was big deal for me because up to that point, I hadn’t met anyone else who liked that movie.
Anyways, that summer Kristin and I ended up hanging out a lot outside of work. We went to a few movies together, played mini golf, and even ran away to Cape Cod for a weekend, but that’s another story for another day.
That August, Kristin told me she was getting a second job because she needed more money for college, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to start in January. She ended up working part-time at a sandwich shop in the town of Rockland. I think it was called the Paper Bag or the Brown Paper Bag.
Whatever it was called, the place was small and only opened for lunch. Any day I happened to be off, I’d go over there and have lunch with Kristin. One time, I brought along my good buddy and sidekick, John.
Now, I need to mention that John can be a very picky eater. Let me try to explain: John only eats chicken, no beef or pork. He likes his turkey cold, but don’t you dare give it to him hot. John will eat all sorts of cheese, but not American cheese for unknown reasons. Though some of us think it’s because he once ate a piece with the wrapper still on.
But back to the day in question…
I was in line ahead of John, I told Kristin I wanted turkey club on white bread. She took John’s order next, and he wanted a chicken parm sandwich. Kristin then asked what kind of cheese he wanted, but John hesitated. So Kristin said, “How about American cheese?” and John replied yes.
As we sat down to eat lunch, John spent several minutes attempting to remove the cheese from his sandwich. I was confused, and asked him why he was doing that. John told me he hated American cheese, I said I knew that, so why did he get it? His reply was that Kristin tricked him.
“She tricked you?” I said, “How did she do that? She just asked if you wanted American cheese or not.” Oh no she didn’t, according to John. In his mind, Kristin was a great magician who tricked him into eating American cheese. That is not what happened, and even if it had, it just means John was too scared to tell her “no.”