Better late than never review: xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Spoilers ahead!

As soon as the opening credits started, my wifey said to me, “Oh lord, this is going to be bad.” Then, as a satellite crashed back to earth she said: “If that thing lands on Samuel L. Jackson’s head, I’m shutting this off.” Well, the satellite didn’t exactly fall on his head, but it did kill him, along with many others in the vicinity. That’s how “xXx Return of Xander Cage” starts, and its nearly all downhill from there.

After the satellite incident, the CIA learns that this was no accident, but a strategic attack by terrorists who have acquired a device called Pandora’s Box. This thing has the ability to control military satellites so they can be used as weapons. Luckily, the CIA has the box, but it is soon stolen from the agency’s headquarters in New York by a group led by Xiang (Donnie Yen). Left with little option, government suit Jane Marke (Toni Collette) recruits the original Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) out of retirement to serve his country again.

Xander puts together a team to help him recover Pandora’s Bos, including Adele Wolff (Ruby Rose), Tennyson (Rory McCann), and Harvard “Nicks” Zhou (Kris Wu). However, things may not be entirely what they seem, and Xander and his friends quickly find themselves caught deep in a conspiracy that might run all the way to the top.

I liked the original xXX movie, not because it was a great film, but because it was a guilty pleasure spy flick with over-the-top action. Return of Xander has plenty of action, but it’s not as good as in the first movie. Several scenes rely too heavily on quick cuts and certain sequences stick out for the poor quality of the CGI.

Return of Xander Cage stole/borrowed several things from last year’s “Suicide Squad,” like giving each group member their own pop song-infused introduction complete with fun little graphics with info about the characters. There’s also the tough lady in charge; a sharpshooter; the crazy onee; and a martial artist.

The cast is likeable, especially Donnie Yen who steals the show in many places. But at the end of the day, the cast comes off looking like the minor league team to the pro team that Vin Diesel runs in the Fast & The Furious movies. But let me be clear: I don’t blame the cast.

The script by F. Scott Frazier doesn’t do the cast any favors. The stakes don’t feel real or big enough, and Frazier’s primary concern seems to be putting Xander Cage in cool looking situations and locales, while reminding the audience why they liked the first movie.

It wasn’t all bad though, as “xXx Return of Xander Cage” did have a couple of good elements.  I like the idea that there are all kinds of xXx agents out there with different skills. This is something that should be explored even more if there is another sequel. And since Donnie Yen was arguably the bast part of this movie, give him a spinoff.

Another thing I liked where the female characters. Ruby Rose was terrific as the team sniper, and had some great one liners with Vin Diesel. Deepika Padukone was good too, and did well in the action scenes. But she does look very young next to diesel. And finally, I liked Nina Dobrev at first because she spoke her mind and had some funny dialogue with Vin Diesel. But by the end of the movie they turned her character into slapstick.

In the end, “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” is exactly what you’d expect: It’s over-the-top, ridiculous, and silly. Unfortunately, thanks to the weak script and awful CGI, , it’s not as enjoyable as the original. And it’s certainly not even close to the Fast & Furious franchise.

“xXx: Return of Xander Cage” final score: D+

Worth a Look: Super Cop

I like foreign movies, doesn’t matter where they are from or what genre they fall into, I’ll give them all a shot.

I first became a fan of foreign movies when I started working at Blockbuster Video in 1995. Back then, I gravitated more to the action films. Some of my favorites movies at the time were the Jackie Chan adventures. But out of all the Jackie Chan movies I’ve seen, “Super Cop” is easily my favorite.

In the film Chan is the only choice for a highly dangerous mission. He’s soon sent to China as an undercover agent to help a prisoner named Panther (Yuen Wah) escape his work camp. If all goes to plan, the gangster will lead Chan to Panther’s Hong Kong-based older brother Chaibat (Ken Tsang), one of the biggest drug lords in Asia.

Before the mission even starts, Jackie Chan meets his match in his new boss/partner, a People’s Republic of China secret agent (Michelle Yeoh) who’s a lot more disciplined than, and perhaps even better than Chan at his job. The two make a terrific team, and Yeoh steals several sequences with her stunt and martial arts work.

Also joining the fun in the final act is the beautiful Maggie Cheung as Chan’s lively (bu naive) girlfriend, a tour guide who arrives in Kuala Lumpar at the worst possible moment, and goes ballistic when she sees Jackie with Michelle Yeoh at a hotel.

The adventure leads Jackie Chan and Michelle Yeoh to a secret jungle compound along the border between Thailand and Cambodia where a massive gun battle occurs, and the mission culminates in an impressive chase through Kuala Lumpar.

This extended chase begins with humor, features another jail break, and later involves a rooftop fight, a helicopter, cars, motorcycles, and even a moving train, and all of this was done for real!

Known around the world as “Police Story 3: Super Cop,” here in the States the title was shortened to “Super Cop” when it was released in 1996. I remember seeing the trailer and the tv sports in 1996, which made it seem like a brand new movie. Little did I know that “Super Cop” had actually been made in 1992.

Regardless, “Super Cop” is one of those movies I can still enjoy anytime, just like I did in the theater twenty-one years ago. “Super Cop” shows off Jackie Chan’s sense of humor, his martial arts, and his incredible stunts. With his sunny personality, Jackie Chan keeps the film fun and exciting.

For years I had a VHS copy of this movie, but I hadn’t watched in ages since I don’t have a VCR anymore. But a few weeks ago I found “Super Cop” on DVD at Food Lion for $3.99. And after having re watched it, “Super Cop” holds up well after all these years, and it is without a doubt my favorite Jackie Chan movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Review

Possible spoilers ahead!

After the events of the first Guardians of the Galaxy film, Peter Jason Quill aka. Star-Lord (Chris Pratt), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista), Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) and now-Baby Groot (Vin Diesel), have become famous across the galaxy.

As Vol. 2 begins, we find the team on a mission for the genetically engineered race of super-beings known as the Sovereigns, led by one Ayesha (Elizabeth Debicki). The Sovereigns hired the Guardians to protect some highly valuable batteries in exchange for the recently captured Nebula (Karen Gillan). This being the Guardians, things happen, and they soon find themselves on the run from the Sovereigns.

About to be destroyed by the Sovereigns’ drone fleet, the Guardians are rescued by a mysterious being who calling himself Ego (Kurt Russell)… and he claims to be Peter’s long-lost father. Peter, Gamora and Drax accompany Ego and empath Mantis (Pom Klementieff) to Ego’s planet, while Rocket and Baby Groot remain behind to keep an eye on Nebula, and to try to repair their heavily damaged ship. Unfortunately for the Guardians, the Sovereigns hire Yondu (Michael Rooker) and his gang of Ravagers to hunt down and capture the Starlord and friends.

Right off the bat, let’s get to the question everyone is asking: is “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” better than the first movie? The answer is yes… and no.

I say “no” because the story in “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” is more convoluted. Where the first movie was mindless fun, this one had a lot of stuff going on. If you’re not fluent in comic speak, you’re bound to miss something, or find yourself asking guys like me what the heck is going on. But if you’ve read comics at any point, you should be fine.

But, I will also say “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” is a better movie because it moves the characters and the overall MCU forward. Guardians 2 also fills in story gaps and answers questions from the first movie, like: Why Nebul hates Gamora, and Drax’s back story. That’s just the start though, as “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” also gives every main character an arc. And with a large cast, that’s quite a feat to pull off.

Just like in the first movie, the cast is great. The banter for the most part is pretty good, even if the poop and dick jokes fell flat. But I can overlook a couple of bad joked thanks to Baby Groot and some epic action sequences. Drax was funny as hell, and so was Tazer Face. From the new cast members, Pom Klementieff’s socialy awkward Mantis is the biggest standout, but Kurt freaking Russel is pretty cool too.

Probably the biggest surprise of “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” is Yondu (Michael Rooker). In many ways, this is a Yondu movie, and I don’t have a problem with that. And kudos to Michael Rooker for making the character more interesting than he ever was in the comics.

The worst thing in Guardians 2 is easily the Sovereigns. Don’t get me wrong, the group has some cool concepts (even if they look like Oscars), but as villains, they never pay off. I think the Sovereigns would have worked better if we met them at the beginning, but didn’t see them again until the mid-credit scene.

At the end of the day, “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” is not perfect, but it does have all the comedy and cosmic action that audiences now expect from the Guardians of the Galaxy. And it serves as a bridge to the bigger adventure yet to come. On the plus side, the soundtrack is even better than the original.

“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” score: B+

5 Underrated Guardians of the Galaxy Comics

With “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” just days away from hitting your local multiplex, I thought this would be a good time to talk about some underrated Guardians of the Galaxy comics. But then it hit me:

The numerous Guardians of the Galaxy titles over the years, have never had any memorable stories. I simply refuse to acknowledge anything Brian Michael Bendis did with the group over the last few years. And, as good as Jim Valentino was, his early 1990’s Guardians run wasn’t exactly a classic. That Vance Astro Captain America costume? woof.

So instead of writing about the Guardians of the Galaxy title, I’m instead going to mention some my favorite stories featuring a couple of Guardians of the Galaxy members.

But to be clear: these comic stories are by no means necessary to enjoy “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” on the big screen. These are just good comic stories you might enjoy before or after seeing the movie. Got it? good, and away we go:

Warlock and the Infinity Watch #9 (1992)

The Guardians’ leading lady is of course, the green beauty, Gamora. In the first movie we don’t learn much about her background, except that she is Thanos’ daughter. But even then we don’t get any details.

The first time I saw her origin in any detail was in Warlock and the Infinity Watch #9 published in 1992. Warlock and the Infinity Watch #9 was an Infinity War tie-in issue, but the main story was called “Old Wounds” written by Jim Starlin, with Art by Tom Raney and Keith Williams.

In this comic we learn the origin of the most dangerous woman in the universe. How she came to be raised by Thanos, how he trained her, and why after all this time, she still hates him.

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Starlord #1-3 (1996-1997)

The 1990’s in general were a pretty bad time for comics. But the mid 90’s were extremely painful for Marvel. However, every once in a while during that time, Marvel published something good. In this case, the three issue Starlord mini-series Written by Timothy Zahn, and painted by Dan Lawlis.

In this series, Starlord has been missing for 22 years, but When a rookie lawman in a corrupt judicial system finds a crashed sentient starship, he stumbles into a web of intrigue beyond his experience, as he is forced to become the new Starlord!

This is not quite the Starlord you see in the MCU, but this was still a fun series published during a rough time for Marvel.

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Captain Marvel #6 (1999)

In 1999, writer Peter David and artist Chris Cross launched a new Captain Marvel title that sadly, most people didn’t read. That’s a shame because this title was highly underrated. One of the early highlights of this comic, happened in issue #6.

Behold, Drax the Despot! In Captain Marvel #6, Captain Marvel and Drax the Destroyer find themselves transported to a familiar spot in the Marvel Universe one where Drax is worshipped as a god, and Captain Marvel is considered a villain! And to make matters worse, Drax is slowly becoming more and more stupid, not to mention more violent!

Drax may look different here than he does in the comic, but the fact remains this is one heck of an issue.

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Rocket Raccoon #1-4 (1985)

Assuming you can find affordable copies of the issues, the Rocket Raccoon mini-series from 1985 is worth every penny. The series is probably available digitally, but it just isn’t the same thing.

Anyways, Rocket Raccoon was written by Bill Mantlo, and featured art by Mike Mignola. In the series, Lord Mole has started a toy war by killing the chief toysmith of Lord Dyvyne. Rocket Raccoon and his crew, with the oath of protecting the loonies of Cuckoo’s Nest, find themselves involved in the struggle to ensure that their subjects receive the toys they need. Lord Dyvyne sends the Black Bunny Brigade to capture Llyla to obtain her stake in her toy empire.

And di I mention Mike freaking Mignola drew this?

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Marvel: The End #1-6 (2003)

Written and drawn by Jim Starlin, Marvel: The End sees a grave threat from beyond space and time swiftly approaches the Earth. This catastrophic, existence-ending event forces Earth’s mightiest heroes and villains to join forces to fend off Armageddon. But amid ever-shifting alliances and internally warring factions, will they succeed in their quest to save all of eternity?

Led by the demigod Thanos (who is admittedly not only quite mad, but something of a continual threat himself to both Earth and eternity), Earth’s super-humans must stand shoulder-to-shoulder to face the most terrifying threat that they’ve ever encountered: Nothing less than the end of all that ever was!

The six issue Marvel: The End series is a fun and ambitious story featuring Thanos vs. the Marvel universe. Although The End isn’t as good as the Infinity Gauntlet, The End does cool team-ups, and shocking twists. And come on, it’s by Jim Starlin, you can’t go wrong!

Worth a Look: Defending Your Life

All of us, at one point or another, have wondered what happens after death. Movies and TV shows have been asking the same question for decades, but it seems to me Hollywood constantly goes with the same options:

1. Science fiction/horror
2. comedy/slapstick comedy

Neither option is a great option because both have been done over and over again. However, back in 1991, Albert Brooks created “Defending Your Life,” one of the best (and most creative) films about what happens after we die.

I first saw “Defending Your Life” a couple of years after it came out. It just happened to be on HBO or Showtime one night I couldn’t sleep. This was one night I was glad to have insomnia, otherwise I may have never seen this movie.

The idea of this film is that after death we pass on to a sort of heavenly way station where we are given the opportunity to defend certain moments our most recent lifetime. If successful, we get to move on to heaven. If not, we have to go back and start a new life and try again.

The process resembles an American courtroom, with a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and judge, or in this case a panel of judges. This “trial” isn’t because you did anything wrong while on earth. The basic idea is to find out did you do your best with the opportunities you had?

In the movie, Brooks plays Dan Miller, a successful exec who drives his new BMW and plows it into a bus while trying to adjust the CD player. He wakes up in a place named Judgment City, which is made up of office and hotel complexes. Dan is given a room in one of the hotels, and at first he’s understandably shocked at learning he’s dead.

But the hotel staff takes good care of him and the other guests. Dan is soon dressed in a flowing white gown, whisked around the city on a trolleys, and told he can eat all he wants because the food here does not contain calories. After the best breakfast he’s ever had, Dan meets his genial, or defense attorney, Bob Diamond (Rip Torn). We also meet the hard-edged prosecutor they are up against, Lena Foster (Lee Grant). In the courtroom we see flashbacks to 9 days in Dan’s life, and he must try to explain why he’s always afraid.

Nobody except Albert Brooks could have played this role. Why you may ask? Because no other actor in the world could or can play insecurities the way Albert Brooks has for decades. And no other actor could deliver the shocked and amazed reactions the part called for.

As if Dan didn’t have enough to worry about in Judgment City, he soon meets and falls for another guest in Judgment City. She is the complete opposite of Dan: sweet, open-minded, happy, and unafraid. The woman is named Julia and played by Meryl Streep, who just like Brooks with his part, is the only actress capable of providing Julia with that great laugh. I also love how Julia takes advantage of the all you can eat perk.

The movie is funny, charming, and filled with hope. But one of my favorite aspects of “Defending Your Life” is the world building by Albert Brooks. There is an answer for every question you may have as the viewer, for example: Why there are no children in Judgment City; why this place exists in the first place; and why we use so little of our brain power.

Another thing, every place Dan and Julia visit in the movie has a reason for being there and is fully developed. Two of my favorite places they go to are the sushi restaurant where you get the same number of Sake shot as the number of days your trial is looking at.

And of course, there’s Past Lives Pavillion, hosted of course by Shirley MacLaine. Here Julia discovers he she was once the heroic Prince Valiant. He sees he was once African warrior being chased by a lion. “Who are you?” calls Streep. “Lunch,” replies Brooks.

No matter how many times I’ve seen “Defending Your Life” over the years, it’s always like I’m seeing it for the first time. There is no way to explain how much joy I get from watching each new expression on Brooks’s face as he faces the trial and his new surroundings.

This is definitely Albert Brooks’s most underrated movie and he gives an equally underrated performance. Meryl Streep lights up the screen with her joy and need for adventure. And if you haven’t seen “Defending Your Life,” you’re missing out!

The Fate of the Furious Review

Possible Spoilers ahead!

“The Fate of the Furious” begins with Dominic (Vin Diesel) and Letty Toretto (Michelle Rodriguez) enjoying their honeymoon in Havana, Cuba. For once, the two are spending some quiet time away from it all, but some over the top street racing is still involved.

However, everything changes the morning Dom is approached by a woman calling herself Cipher (Charlize Theron). For reasons that he cannot reveal to his trusted friends and family, Dom is forced into carrying out Cipher’s criminal agenda.

After turning his team, Dom finds himself a fugitive once again. In other to stop Dom, the others will need all the help they can get in order to stop whatever plan Cipher is unleashing. That means, working alongside one of their sworn enemies: Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham).

As shocking as it sounds, Vin Diesel delivers one of his most dramatic performance in a Fast & Furious movie to date; although the “Evil Dom” storyline falls short because the reason for his turn is revealed rather early on. But to Diesel’s credit, he did a fine job carrying much of the emotional stuff this time around.

In “The Fate of the Furious,” Dwayne Johnson’s Luke Hobbs becomes one of the leads opposite Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto. He has some good action scenes, but my favorite Rock moment happened early on… at a soccer game. Also, his banter with Jason Statham had some of the movie’s biggest laughs.

Speaking of Jason Statham, I was surprised how good he was. But then my wifey made a good point: Fate was directed by F. Gary Gray, who also directed “The Italian Job.” In that movie, Statham stole the show, and he did the same thing in “The Fate of the Furious,” so thanks Mr. Gray!

The rest Fast & Furious crew (Tyrese Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges and Furious 7 addition Nathalie Emmanuel) do their usual stuff in their respective roles. The only blemish in the acting department was Scott Eastwood, playing a possible replacement for Kurt Russell’s Mr. Nobody. Problem is that Scott Eastwood looks like a kid hanging around adults.

Meanwhile, Oscar-winner Charlize Theron brings some fresh malice and villainy to the character of Cipher. Her one-on-one scenes with Vin Diesel are some of the most tense and suspenseful in the film. I only wish we could have seen her in more action scenes than we did.

If you’re looking for award-winning material, “The Fate of the Furious” is not the movie for you. But if you are looking to enjoy yourself for a couple of hours, then this movie will have something for you!

At the end of the day, “The Fate of the Furious” is as insane and ridiculous and you would expect, and I liked that. Everything in this movie seemed bigger than anything we’ve seen before, and I was okay with that too. Plus you add in Furiosa herself, Charlize Theron, and I’m a happy nerd. So basically, I loved this movie.

However, I’m also smart enough to know that “The Fate of the Furious” is not the best installment in the series. That honor still goes to 2011’s “Fast 5,” which I think is the best “film” in the franchise. Whatever, I still loved Fate, and I’m not kidding when I say this is my favorite Fast & Furious flick because it was so damn entertaining.

“The Fate of the Furious” final score: B+

Better late than never review: Assassin’s Creed

Possible spoilers ahead!

Based on the blockbuster video game series of the same name, “Assassin’s Creed” was the first major adaptation to be co-produced by a game studio, Ubisoft Motion Pictures. With a big budget, and a solid cast, things looked promising for the movie. But when it came out late last year, “Assassin’s Creed” was a box office disappointment. And thus, the video game movie curse continued.

“Assassin’s Creed” could have used a script editor. The finished product is a mess in an all sorts of ways. However, the movie does have slick action sequences, some creative sci-fi elements, and some surprisingly rich cinematography. But all the good stuff in the film is undercut by flat drama, a convoluted plot, and almost zero character development.

The lack of character development was surprising, since the movie has three intros for the lead. First we meet the Assassin’s Creed in 1492 Spain, then we meet eight year old Callum “Cal” Lynch the day his dad murders his mom, and then we jump to adult Callum “Cal” Lynch now played by Michael Fassbender.

We’re supposed to care for Cal, but for the entire movie all we know about Cal is that his mom died, and he’s a descendant of the Creed. The audience is never given a reason to root for this guy.

It’s unfortunate, because “Assassin’s Creed” has a unique look and style that I haven’t seen in other video game adaptations. Had the filmmakers taken time to develop its central heroes and villains, or had they focused on just one time period, they would have scored a big hit.

I can’t place the blame on Marion Cotillard, Michael Fassbender, or the rest of the cast. They do what they can with the material. But even the best actors in the world wouldn’t be able to elevate a weak script.

Without a doubt, the best stuff in the movie takes place in the 15th century. These sequences had the best storytelling, and the best action scenes. The hand to hand battles are better than anything we got in “Iron Fist,” and I particularly liked the team of Aguilar and Maria. A film focused on those two would be epic.

While “Assassin’s Creed” is a step up from previous video game movies, it contiues one tradition that has plagued the others: a weak script. Hopefully future video game adaptations will take this to heart. That said, “Assassin’s Creed” is not all bad. The stuff in Spain is gorgeous, the action is slick, and the costumes are pretty damn good.

“Assassin’s Creed” final score: C+