Ahh, the dog days or summer are finally here, and that can mean only one thing: MTV once again tries to pretends it’s still a music channel when it airs The 34th annual MTV Video Music Awards!
This year, the award ceremony will take place at The Forum in Inglewood, California, and will be hosted by the one and only Kat Perry.She takes over the hosting duties from nowbody, because last year MTV was too cheap to hire a host.
Anyways, as per tradition, I don’t plan in watching the VMAs on Sunday night. But I couldn’t let the event go without notice either. Therefore, I am pleased to bring you the fifth annual TNU Video Music Awards!
Now, before we get started handing out awards, I need to let you know that my buddy (and fellow TNU member) Laneit, ran off with all of our petty cash so he could buy more Pop figures. This means the 5th annual TNU VMAs are running on a smaller budget, and won’t be giving out as many awards as we did last year. Also, thanks to the smaller budget, there is no trip to Steak ‘n Shake after the show.
One last thing to keep in mind: I don’t listen to current music, so most of the music videos listed below are old. And with that, here are the 2017 TNU Video Music Awards…
Sure to Give you Nightmares winner
Stone Temple Pilots – “Sour Girl”
All these years later, “Sour Girl” is the only Stone Temple Pilots song I like. I’m not sure what it all means, but it’s still a good song. But the fact remains, the video for “Sour Girl” is scary as hell.
Thanks for Wrecking my Childhood winner
OPUS – “Live Is Life ”
Believe it or not, I actually remember when this song came out. “Live is Life” was my cousin’s favorite song for a long time, so I listened to it over and over in 1985. However, I hadn’t seen the video until recently, and now I wish I hadn’t seen it all.
15-20 Years winner
Marty Balin – “Hearts”
Three guesses as to what is going on in this music video:
1. He killed her, and that’s why he’s in prison
2. Poor guy’s been in solitary for so long, he’s now starting to hallucinate.
3. She framed him for murder for wearing that ridiculous speedo.
Lonely Hearts Club winner
Elton John – “I Want Love”
Robert Downey Jr. looks so sad in this video, no wonder he wants someone to love. But maybe, just maybe, he’d be happy with some furniture.
Best Special Effects winner
The Darkness – “I Believe In A Thing Called Love”
Any music video that has giant alien monsters and guitars dropping from the ceiling, is okay by me.
Does it Really Matter What She’s Saying? winner
Bibi Gaytán – “Mucha Mújer Para Ti”
What can I say? Bibi Gaytan was one of my first crushes.
Best Video of Some Random Year
Blu Cantrell – “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!)”
I know “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!)” seems like an odd choice for me, but allow me to explain: This song was everywhere in the summer of 2001, and because that was an important time for me, I always put the two together.
Then again, I may just have fond memories of this song because of my co-workers did a strip tease to “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!)” on my last day at Blockbuster Video.