Over the last month I’ve been sharing stories that happened to Laneit, John, and me during our senior year in high school. But this week’s story is a little different because of some of this happened before our senior year.
Just before we became seniors, an event took place that rocked our world to its very core and changed us forever: Van Halen reunited with frontman David Lee Roth at the 1996 MTV Video Music Awards.
Nah, I’m just kidding.
The event I’m talking about happened one day when a kid in our class named Chris decided it would be a good idea to write a list of all the girls in our class, and rank them. And boy did he put work into this list! This kid e ranked each girl on just about everything you could imagine. You would think that after doing this Chris would keep this sort of thing at home, but you’d be wrong.
One day as we walked into a classroom, we noticed that someone in the previous class had left something under their desk. Upon further inspection, we were shocked to discover the list Chris had made.
The girls were listed by name, with graded next to each category. Naming our classmates was bad enough, but Chris decided to even include his mother on the list. Before we knew it, the list was handed over to our teacher, who then handed it to the principal’s office.
By the time lunch rolled around, the story about the list was out. And some of the girls were out for Chris’ blood. As luck would have it, I was sitting in the same vicinity as Chris. I remember someone asking him how could he be so stupid, and he had no idea what the hell we were talking about.
Soon, a group of the girls he mentioned, surrounded the entire table. This is when I took the opportunity to mention to Kimberly (the girl I had a crush on), “I swear I had nothing to do with this.” She replied she knew that, and thanked me. She also gave me a look that said “You might want to leave now.” Side note: this was the only time she talked to me.
Anyways, just before the villagers stormed the castle with their pitchforks, some teachers dragged Chris out. We didn’t see him the rest of the day, and we later found out he’d been suspended for a long time. He eventually came back, but the damage had been done by then.
Chris still graduated with us, even if he was public enemy number one. As he walked across the stage on graduation day, you could hear a pin drop. But then someone sitting in the bleachers shouted: “You fuckin’ pervert!” And then the entire class of 1997 burst into laughter.