Fourteen years after “Stuck on You” came out, I am still amazed that this movie got made at all. And I am shocked that my friends and I paid money to see it at the theatre.
“Stuck on You” was directed by the Farrelly Brothers, who were still riding high from the success of “There’s Something About Mary,” and “Me, Myself and Irene.” The two brothers had proved they could deliver a solid raunchy comedy, but “Stuck on You” didn’t stick the landing.
“Stuck on You” tells the story of conjoined twins Bob, or was it Bo? I can’t remember so let’s go with Bob (played by Matt Damon), and Walter (Greg Kinnear). The brothers live a happy life playing sports and working behind the counter of their diner in Martha’s Vineyard.
They’re so good at their job, that they guarantee customers get a free burger if they have to wait more than three minutes. There are of course difficulties being conjoined, but they’re best friends and have learned to accommodate each other over the years.
Bob would love nothing more than to stay on the island for the rest of his life, but Walter is restless and has a dream of becoming an actor. When the day finally comes and Walt decides he must go to Hollywood to live his dream, Bob is a good sport and says goodbye to the island.
The one positive thing about this movie was Eva Mendes as the twin’s hot neighbor. I liked that she didn’t judge the twins and treated them like everyone else. And I believe this was the first time I saw Mendes do comedy, and she wouldn’t do anymore until “Ghost Rider” a few years later.
I won’t deny that “Stuck on You” had a couple of laughs early on. But even before the twins left Martha’s Vineyard for the West Coast, I was asking myself if I should be laughing at any of what I was seeing on the big screen.
Things didn’t improve when a bunch of celebrities made cameos in the movie. Here are some of the ones I remember: Jack Nicholson turned up briefly, Jay Leno also showed up, then came Cher; Ricky Williams; Ben Carson (yes, that Ben Carson);
Mary Hart; Frankie Muniz and more.
But everything really hit the fan once Meryl Streep showed up in a musical number set to Bonnie and Clyde. As we sat there watching Streep and Greg Kinnear sing and dance their little hearts out, I head someone in my group say “What the fuck?” I think the comment came from my best buddy Laneit, but I have not been able to confirm that.