Zambuto.
The word still sends chills down my back. Mr. Zambuto was the name of one of our teachers during our senior year of high school. His class was called Principles of Technology, and if you know what means, then you are much smarter than me.
Actually, if you know what Principles of Technology is, you’d be smarter than Mr. Zambuto too, because he knew less than I did. And did I mention Mr. Zambuto looked just like the late Scottish comic Ronnie Corbett?
Anyways, he wasn’t a very good teacher, at least not for that class. To be fair though, it wasn’t all his fault. Up until the 1996-1997 school year, Zambuto was teaching electronics in our school. Our Principles of Technology teacher the previous year had been Mr. Soule, Now him we all liked.
Not only did Mr. Soule look like Archangel from “Airwolf,” but he taught in a way than even a someone like me could understand what he was talking about. Why they replaced him with Zambuto remains a mystery to this day.
During our senior year, Principles of Technology was the one class I dreaded to attend. But every so often it was worth the misery. Take for instance the day when Mr. Zambuto decided to bring out a Van de Graaff generator for class. You may remember the device as that weird thing you saw in school once that made people’s hair stand up
Mr. Zambuto grabbed the generator from a closet, and put it on a small desk he had near the front of the class. He then proceeded to explain the history of the device which to us meant one of two things:
- Time to catch up on homework for another class
- Nap time
By the time Laneit and I had started to doze off, Zambuto finally picked up the generator. He brought it to his main desk, and as he put it down, the thing toppled over towards us. I swear to you it happened in slow motion, and as the sphere busted open, all these smaller spheres spilled out all over the room. I don’t know what they were called or even if they were part of the generator.
Mr. Zambuto was in utter shock as the generator tipped over, and when he saw all the spheres rolling around the floor he shouted “My balls!” This was too much for Laneit, me, and everyone else in the class.
All of us burst into laughter, someone even fell off their chair from laughing so hard. And through the entire ordeal all Zambuto could muster was “Find my balls” or “Pick up my balls!”