The final sequence of Incredible Hulk #377 shows Bruce and his two Hulk personalities coming to an agreement that they need to merge so they can work as one. The merger of Bruce, the Green, and Grey Hulks leads to one of the most famous panels in Hulk history when the new and improved smart Hulk, runs into Betty and announces that he’s essentially cured. Thus launching an all-new era for Marvel’s jolly green giant.
Half days in the eighth grade were a rare treat. For some reason we only had a three or four half days that year, so most of the kids in my grade took advantage of them. While some of my classmates would get into trouble around town, while my friends and I went to a comic store, eat lunch, and took in a movie.
This became a little bit of a tradition, and in January 1993 we told our parents of our plan to see “Aladdin” on our upcoming half day. In reality, we planned to sneak into the R rated thriller “Body of Evidence.” That’s right, we bought tickets for “Aladdin,” but once our tickets got looked over, we headed into “Body of Evidence” instead.
In case you don’t remember the movie, “Body of Evidence” was directed by Uli Edel and written by Brad Mirman. The film starred Madonna as Rebecca Carlson and Willem Dafoe Frank Dulaney. The supporting cast included the likes of Joe Mantegna, Anne Archer, and Julianne Moore. The movie revolved around Rebecca Carlson, an attractive woman who forms a relationship with a famed millionaire. When the man is found dead, Rebecca is in line to inherit the vast majority of his fortune.
Not the most original of plots, but hey, sometimes simple works best. Then again, maybe the filmmakers thought to cast Madonna as the lead and having her get naked was enough of a draw. Anyway, all seems well until suspicion for the man’s death falls squarely on Rebecca’s shoulders, and she’s charged with murder. The district attorney is sure of Rebecca’s guilt and will do whatever it takes t ensure she goes to jail and never sees a penny of the man’s money.
With her freedom in the balance, Rebecca hires Frank Delaney as her defense attorney. Frank is a respected lawyer with a wife and a family. Still, Rebecca’s seductive charms are too difficult for Frank to resist, and soon the two begin an affair. With Frank’s judgment now clouded, Rebecca tells him that she is innocent of the murder, but despite his attraction to her, Frank doesn’t trust Rebecca. Maybe it’s all the mind games she plays with him, or maybe he doesn’t trust her because Madonna cannot act and looked guilty even when we’re supposed to feel bad for her. Either way, good old Willem Defoe is in a deep heap of trouble!
To say that we all laughed throughout “Body of Evidence,” would be an understatement. We laughed because the movie takes itself so seriously that it’s funny. I get that they were going for a “Basic Instinct” tone, but that movie had a strong cast and a compelling story. “Body of Evidence” on the other hand, uses confusion instead of using mystery. The cast too doesn’t compare to “Basic Instinct.” Try as he might, Willem Dafoe couldn’t carry Madonna for almost two hours.
After bombs like “Bloodhounds of Broadway,” “Shanghai Surprise” and “Who’s That Girl?” I’m not sure why Madonna was the first choice to play Rebecca. I would say maybe someone at the studio saw her in “A League of Her Own,” and liked her work there. But “Body of Evidence” would have been deep into production by the time that movie hit theaters. So more than likely, someone at the studio said: “Show her naked 4 or 5 times, that should do the trick.”
“Body of Evidence” also has some weird moments that I thought would lead to something later int the film, but never did. For example: Throughout the trial, Willem Dafoe is reprimanded constantly by the judge. I’m sure there was a reason or this, but I don’t think it was ever explained. In another odd trial moment, when Dafoe is delivering his opening remarks to the jury, the camera focuses on an attractive young female juror.
The shot lasted long enough to let the audience know this woman was important. She gives Dafoe a sexy look. I took it as either she’ll seduce him too, or she’s in the jury to fix it one way or the other. But no, I was wrong. The woman is never mentioned again that I can recall, she turns out to be just an extra trying to grab Dafoe’s attention.
Maybe some stuff got left on the editing room because apparently “Body of Evidence” was originally rated NC-17. I didn’t know this at the time, so maybe that cut of the film had answers to these weird moments.
When my friends and I left the theater, we left disappointed. Even though we laughed our heads off and saw Madonna’s boobs a couple of times, it felt like we just had a couple of hours we’d never get back. While “Basic Instinct” was entertaining in a number of ways, “Body of Evidence” had me wondering who the hell greenlit this thing.
Oh well, thankfully it wasn’t all bad news. At least Willem Dafoe and Julianne Moore went on to bigger and better things after this movie.
For people my age and anyone who was young in the 1980’s, “The Breakfast Club” is one of those movies everyone liked because we grew up in that era. Yeah, not for me though. Truth of the matter is I hate the movie, but it wasn’t always like that. But I have a good reason disliking this movie, and it all started my freshman year of college.
Between fall of 1997 and the spring of 1999, I attended school at Bridgewater State College in Bridgewater Ma. My major at the time was media communications, with a minor in graphic design.
I was excited to go to school at BSC, but soon discovered the school made it almost impossible for freshmen to get into the classes we needed for our major. During my freshman year, I was only able to take two of the required courses, one of which was a speech class.
The required speech class was three days a week, but with two different professors. On Monday, we met in a large auditorium with one teacher, and on Wednesday and Friday we’d meet in a regular classroom with a different teacher. It was in the regular classroom where my problems with “The Breakfast Club.”
One Friday, we were assigned to watch the movie, and the professor told us to just enjoy it. No need to take notes or anything. Everyone in the class was probably thinking “watch a movie for homework? cool.” So I watched it, and I liked certain parts of it, and I did laugh here and there. But I wouldn’t say it became a favorite of mine or anything. As far as I was concerned, this would be the only time I had to watch “The Breakfast Club,” but boy was I wrong!
The following Wednesday, the professor that had assigned the movie, asked us our initial thoughts about it. Even then I thought it was an odd way for her to phrase the question, but I soon found out why she said “Initial thoughts.” At the end of class, she told us to watch the movie again, but this time focus only on Judd Nelson’s John Bender. Oh, and be sure to take notes this time.
That Friday in class, we discussed the character of Bender, and what we thought of him and his actions. As fas as I was concerned, that should have been the end of my relationship with “The Breakfast Club,” but the professor had other ideas. For the weekend, she told us to watch the movie again and to focus on Molly Ringwald’ss Claire Standish.
The next week, we did it all over again for Emilio Estevez as Andy Clark. And as if that weren’t enough, we rounded things out by watching the movie again, and only for Anthony Michael Hall’s Brian Johnson.
After a couple of weeks, I had watched “The Breakfast Club” a total of five times. That was over twenty years ago now, but even today I cannot bring myself to watch the movie. This is one case where a homework assignment completley ruined a movie for me. Ah well, at least I passed the class.
The word still sends chills down my back. Mr. Zambuto was the name of one of our teachers during our senior year of high school. His class was called Principles of Technology, and if you know what means, then you are much smarter than me.
Actually, if you know what Principles of Technology is, you’d be smarter than Mr. Zambuto too, because he knew less than I did. And did I mention Mr. Zambuto looked just like the late Scottish comic Ronnie Corbett?
Anyways, he wasn’t a very good teacher, at least not for that class. To be fair though, it wasn’t all his fault. Up until the 1996-1997 school year, Zambuto was teaching electronics in our school. Our Principles of Technology teacher the previous year had been Mr. Soule, Now him we all liked.
Not only did Mr. Soule look like Archangel from “Airwolf,” but he taught in a way than even a someone like me could understand what he was talking about. Why they replaced him with Zambuto remains a mystery to this day.
During our senior year, Principles of Technology was the one class I dreaded to attend. But every so often it was worth the misery. Take for instance the day when Mr. Zambuto decided to bring out a Van de Graaff generator for class. You may remember the device as that weird thing you saw in school once that made people’s hair stand up
Mr. Zambuto grabbed the generator from a closet, and put it on a small desk he had near the front of the class. He then proceeded to explain the history of the device which to us meant one of two things:
- Time to catch up on homework for another class
- Nap time
By the time Laneit and I had started to doze off, Zambuto finally picked up the generator. He brought it to his main desk, and as he put it down, the thing toppled over towards us. I swear to you it happened in slow motion, and as the sphere busted open, all these smaller spheres spilled out all over the room. I don’t know what they were called or even if they were part of the generator.
Mr. Zambuto was in utter shock as the generator tipped over, and when he saw all the spheres rolling around the floor he shouted “My balls!” This was too much for Laneit, me, and everyone else in the class.
All of us burst into laughter, someone even fell off their chair from laughing so hard. And through the entire ordeal all Zambuto could muster was “Find my balls” or “Pick up my balls!”
Like many people out there, I hated school when I was young. Let’s just say I don’t have many good memories of school between 4th grade and 11th grade. The one year I did enjoy was my senior year of high school.
That year, I was in all the same classes as my fellow TNU members, Laneit and John. We walked from class to class together, and even had lunch together. This was a huge perk thanks to the fact that we were all in the vocational part of the school. Spending most of the day together led us to hanging out more, going to movies more, and basically made us closer than ever before.
Occasionally we’d hang out at the mall, usually when we were broken or bored. One such occasion came in April 1997. John, myself, and a friend we called Meathead, headed to the Hanover Mall in Hanover MA. Before I go on I need to take a moment to talk about Meathead.
Meathead was a little odd at times, for instance: he was obsessed with Burger King, and once when I called him at home he told me he was playing with his sister’s pussy, only to find out from his brother he was playing with her cat. Another time, Meathead got mad at me because I got my girlfriend diamond earings, to which he said: “You never get me anything like that.” So yeah, Meathead was odd.
Anyways, back in 1997, the Hanover Mall had a food court, and that’s where we’d usually eat. Years later the food court closed to make room for an Old Navy, which kind of sucked for us. But next to the food court there was a candy store for a long time. This was the type of store where you fill your own bag with whatever you want and they weigh it at the register.
From what I remember, John and I were browsing the movie section at the f.y.e. store across from the candy place. Meathead decided he wanted some candy while we walked around the mall, so he headed to the candy place. I sat down in a bench between the stores, and a few minutes later Meathead emerged red-faced. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: You okay?
Meathead: When I was paying, I saw a sign that said “25% off senior dicount.”
Meathead: I told the lady I was a senior and she laaughed at me.
Me: I would have too.
Me: Because you’re not 65!
Meathead: What does that have to do with… oh.
Kids are back (or are about to go back) to school, which means their summer diet of eating anything and everything they could get their hands on, is giving way to … umm, actually, I don’t know what they’re serving in schools these days.
What I do know is that in my day, school lunches were composed of mystery meats, something resembling cheese, and who knows what else they snuck in there. It wasn’t always pretty back then, but man what I wouldn’t give to have one of those school lunches again!
With that in mind, I present to you the top five school cafeteria lunches I wish I could have again. Before I forget, the pictures I’m using are not the actual things I ate at school, but they are the closest images I could find. Now, let’s start with something the good old days in 4th to 6th grade:
Every Friday was “Pizza” day at Alice B. Fulton School in Weymouth MA. Seeing this on the school lunch calendar was the highlight to most kids. Friday was the day that most of the school ate the cafeteria food instead of bringing something from home.
Not that we were getting a gourmet pizza here. The public elementary school pizza was a single square, sometimes soggy slice of pizza with a bland sauce and stringy anonymous white cheese. Occasionally a few pepperoni slices would make a guest appearance, but I don’t remember it happening often which probably means they were sent by mistake.
Cheeseburger and tater tots
I don’t know what it was about the lukewarm gray patty (which may or may not have contained meat), a neon yellow “cheese” slice, and a dry bun, but the school’s cheeseburger was better than it sounded.
As for the tater tots, I just remember that they were often quite crispy on the outside, but freaking cold on the inside. But this wasn’t anything a ton of ketchup couldn’t solve.
In middle school we usually got a meatball sub on either Tuesday or Thursday. It came in a silver tin foil plate which contained a torpedo roll, 3 or 4 meatballs, a tiny pile of cheese, and some diced pickles. Even though these subs weren’t all that great, at least it felt like an entire meal.
Things improved in high school where the meatball subs were available everyday, and you could ask for extra sauce which was great. Also, the elderly lunch lady would say nothing but “Meatball” at us. I don’t know if she was asking if we wanted meatballs, or if she was just stating that she had meatballs. Either way, her meatball subs became a staple for Laneit and for me.
During our last couple of years in high school, our cafeteria started having “Deli Day” a couple of times a month. If my memory serves me, I think we got a choice of either roast beef or ham. Then we had lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and some other stuff to top the sandwich off.
I gotta say deli day was probably the best meal that cafeteria served. It was nice not having to eat something that was cooked days or weeks ahead of time. Even the sandwich buns tasted fresh. And Laneit and I added a meatball sub on the side, so deli days were great!
Steak and Cheese Sub
When we first saw “Shaved Steak and Cheese Sub” on the menu, we were a little apprehensive. But it actually wasn’t that bad, and we ate it all the time. Then during my senior year, our Current Affairs teacher told us he saw the food delivery truck that morning and that the steak and cheese boxes said “Grade D but Edible.”
Yeah, I basically stopped eating the steak and cheese subs after that one.
That was almost 20 years ago, and now I wish I could have those meals again. I guess you never know what you got until you lose it, right? Oh yeah, fun fact: in high school, Laneit’s lunch consisted of the following…
- Whatever the lunch of the day was
- Meatball sub
- French fries
- a cup of fruit juice that was included with lunch, plus my juice and John’s too.
- Either a cheeseburger or a hamburger