Assault on NFL Week 13

Using my rudimentary math skills and this handy list of pass attempts per game, I can tell you the average football team has thrown the ball 32.66 times per game this year. That’s 914.46 throws on any given Sunday (1,045.1 counting Thursday and Monday Night Games). Over sixty percent of those passes are caught. Over the course of 92 years, that’s a lot of catches. But there’s only one The Catch. It has it’s own wikipedia page and everything.

It’s funny how the word “the” can give something a whole new meaning. If something is “shit,” it’s not very good, but if something is “the shit” it’s the best. Billy Corgan added “The” to “Smashing Pumpkins” after the first couple of albums because people (including me, and most likely you until right now) thought  “Smashing” was used as a verb. But it’s meant to be an adjective, as if Austin Powers was describing a pumpkin. I know this because I was looking for something completely unrelated on TV Tropes. Two hours later, I was on the Non-Indicative Name page.

The NFL loves “the”. Besides The Catch, there’s  The Drive  and The Comeback. Obviously every game has a catch, otherwise you’re watching soccer.  But even though every game has tons of catches, several drives and many have comebacks, by adding “the,” people know which one you’re talking about. Well, last Thursday, we got a new “the.” The Butt Fumble.

So remember, when you’re talking about Mark Sanchez running headfirst into Brandon Moore’s ass, be sure to use “the” at the beginning, or people might get it confused with one of the countless other times a quarterback fumbled after running into his own guy’s ass.

Oh, that butt fumble!

Anyway, here’s our picks.

NO @ ATL Thu 8:30 PM
JAC @ BUF Sun 1:00 PM
SEA @ CHI Sun 1:00 PM
IND @ DET Sun 1:00 PM
MIN @ GB Sun 1:00 PM
CAR @ KC Sun 1:00 PM
NE @ MIA Sun 1:00 PM
ARI @ NYJ Sun 1:00 PM
SF @ STL Sun 1:00 PM
HOU @ TEN Sun 1:00 PM
TB @ DEN Sun 4:05 PM
PIT @ BAL Sun 4:25 PM
CLE @ OAK Sun 4:25 PM
CIN @ SD Sun 4:25 PM
PHI @ DAL Sun 8:20 PM
NYG @ WAS Mon 8:30 PM
Last Week	11-5	13-3	11-5	9-7
Overall	109-66	104-71	101-74	112-63

Something Shiny This Way Comes 11/27/12

We hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving, hope you left room for something shiny!

DVD/Blu Ray

What?! I have a new movie out on Friday!

Lawless: Bootlegging brothers go up against a dirty cop who wants a cut of their profits. Based on a true story. Starring: Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf, Guy Pearce and Gary Oldman. Trailer

ParaNorman: A boy who can see ghosts must use his gift to save his town from a witch’s curse in this animated flick starring Kodi Smit-McPhee, Anna Kendrick, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and many more. Trailer

The Apparition: A college experiment leaves a couple haunted by a supernatural presence. Starring Ashley Greene, Sebastian Stan and Tom Felton. Trailer

Step Up: Revolution: The Step Up franchise takes it to the streets of Miami. It’s corporations versus dance crews. Trailer

2012 San Francisco Giants: The Official World Series Film: Do you like Baseball? Are you a Giants fan? Highlights from the championship season, this disc is for you.

11/30/12

Men in Black 3: The 3rd in the Men in Black series sends Agent J (Will Smith) back in time to prevent the death of Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones). Josh Brolin portrays the young Agent K. Trailer

CDs

It’s been 20 years?

Girl on Fire: The 7th release by Alicia Keys

Glee: The Music Season 4: More music from Fox’s hit show Glee

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2: Music from the movie Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 2

Rage Against the Machine XX: The 20th anniversary release Rage Against the Machine’s debut self titled album

Did we miss anything? What are you getting this week, let us know!

Leftovers: The TNU box office rewind

Yowza! Moviegoers around the country set a new record this Thanksgiving weekend, looks like people managed to squeeze in a movie or two as they ate and shopped. Coming in once again at number 1 is “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2.” This time with a 3-day gross of $43 million and a 5-day gross of $64 million. Guess them tweens got their allowance early, or parents herded a bunch into the theatre while they shopped.

At number 2 this weekend is “Skyfall” with $36 million for the weekend and a 5-day total of $51 million. James Bond’s 23rd adventure is not only his best, but is now the highest grossing entry in the franchise with $221 million. Please MGM, don’t make us wait another 4 years for Bond 24. Steven Spielberg’s “Lincoln” is the number 3 film with $25 million and a 5-day total of $24 million. “Lincoln” may not be setting the box office on fire, but with great word of mouth and critical acclaim, it should have a long run.

Coming in at number 4 is the first of this week’s new releases, “Rise of the Guardians.” The movie earned $24 million for the weekend and $32 million over 5 days. Not horrible numbers, but not great either. “Rise of the Guardians will have a tough time earning back its $145 million budget. Rounding out the top 5 is “Life of Pi” with $22 million and a 5-day total of $30 million. Ang Lee’s adaptation of Yann Martel’s best-selling novel will need some help making back its $120 million budget. I guess “Life of Pi” will be a tough sell with mainstream audiences. I’ve heard decent things about the movie, but not enough to make me go see it.

The only other wide release this weekend was “Red Dawn” which came in at number 7 with $14 million and a 5-day total of $22 million. Horrible numbers any way you look at it. But, it could have been worse. Can you imagine what “Red Dawn” would have made if it came out in 2010, before Chris-Hemsworth became a star?

 

 

 

NFL Week XII: So Very Tired

Well, it’s Thanksgiving, and the official kickoff of NFL week 12. It’s getting harder to find movie franchises with sequels that go up this high. This week, I chose Star Trek XII: So Very Tired, from a 20-year-old Simpsons episode. That’s right, 1992 was 20 years ago. Isn’t that just awful? Incidentally, the official twelfth Star Trek film, Star Trek into Darkness, debuts next May.

So last week, Laneit was the biggest winner with 13-1. But Maz is still on top with 103-56 overall. Look at that smug look on his face. Maybe he’ll get creamed this week. Like corn. Do people eat creamed corn on Thanksgiving? I’m sure somebody somewhere does. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to everyone except Maz! May his predictions be as accurate as Sylvia Browne’s.

HOU @ DET Thu 12:30 PM
WAS @ DAL Thu 4:25 PM
NE @ NYJ Thu 8:20 PM
MIN @ CHI Sun 1:00 PM
OAK @ CIN Sun 1:00 PM
PIT @ CLE Sun 1:00 PM
BUF @ IND Sun 1:00 PM
TEN @ JAC Sun 1:00 PM
DEN @ KC Sun 1:00 PM
SEA @ MIA Sun 1:00 PM
ATL @ TB Sun 1:00 PM
BAL @ SD Sun 4:05 PM
STL @ ARI Sun 4:25 PM
SF @ NO Sun 4:25 PM
GB @ NYG Sun 8:20 PM
CAR @ PHI Mon 8:30 PM
Last Week	11-3	11-3	13-1	12-2
Overall	98-61	91-68	90-69	103-56

Pre-Turkey Day Dollar Bin

New comics day is once again upon us, and this week there’s plenty to choose from. You got everything from Marvel Now! to the New 52, and my top choice for the week, Supurbia. I’d suggest picking up your new comics stash today, that way you can read something while you wait for the stores to open tomorrow night. But don’t forget, many comic stores are also having black friday sales, so check your local store for details. I for one will be hitting 3 stores on Friday, but today plan on picking up the following:

 

Captain America Vol 7 #1

Writer:  Rick Remender  Artist:  John Romita

Thrust into a bizarre, inhospitable world far from home, the all-new, high-adventure, mind-melting, tough-as-nails, sci-fi, pulp-fantasy era of Captain America is NOW! With no country and no allies, what’s left for the Sentinel of Liberty to protect? The Saga of Dimension Z begins here!

Although I miss John Romita’s old art style, I’m giving this book a try. Rick Remender has his job cut out for him as he’s attempting to fill Ed Brubaker’s shoes. It won’t be easy, but he’s a solid writer and I think he’ll be fine.

 

 

Indestructible Hulk #1

Writer:  Mark Waid  Artist:  Leinil Francis Yu

Hulk – Indestructible force more weapon than man. Banner – smartest man alive. Combined they are the Strongest, Smartest Weapon on the planet! And NOW! the INDESTRUCTIBLE HULK is an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.!

A fantastic creative team takes over the Hulk. The concept sounds cool, and different, let’s hope Marvel gives it time to work.

 

 

 

Supurbia Vol 2 #1

Writer:  Grace Randolph   Artist:  Russell Dauterman

THE FAN-FAVORITE PHENOMENON RETURNS IN A BRAND NEW ONGOING SERIES! Meet the Meta Legion, the world’s foremost faction of crime-fighting capes. But what happens when the masks come off and the heroes are faced with the sordid problems of everyday life in the suburbs? From rising star writer Grace Randolph (Marvel’s NATION X, HER-OES) and hot new talent Russell Dauterman, GRACE RANDOLPH’S SUPURBIA is a unique new twist on the superhero genre that appeals to both diehard fans and readers completely new to comics. New stories, new characters, new drama… Don’t miss out on what Bleeding Cool called ‘The Superhero Comic We’ve Been Waiting For’!

My favorite book of the year is now an ongoing title! Did you know heroes have problems too? Yup, its true. Grace Randolph has created a wonderful comic that all comic fans should be reading, but if you haven’t, now is the time to catch up.. The 4 issue mini series sold like hot cakes, and I suspect this will as well.

 

Batwoman #14

Writers:  J. H. Williams – Haden Blackman   Artist:  J. H. Williams

The Batwoman/Wonder Woman team-up epic continues! • Batwoman may be out of her league as she chases down Medusa!

Who doesn’t love team ups?

 

 

 

 

I’ve heard only good things about Saga, so I’m finally going to give it a shot. This isn’t a new release, but you should check it out anyways. Brian K. Vaughan is an excellent storyteller and Fiona Staples’ art is better than ever. If your funds are low this week, check out Midtown Comics, the trade is under $6 online.

Saga Vol 1 TP

Writer:  Brian K. Vaughan  Artist:  Fiona Staples

From New York Times bestselling writer BRIAN K.VAUGHAN (Y: THE LAST MAN, EX MACHINA) and critically acclaimed artist FIONA STAPLES (MYSTERY SOCIETY, NORTH 40), SAGA is the sweeping tale of one young family fighting to find their place in the worlds. When two soldiers from opposite sides of a never-ending galactic war fall in love, they risk everything to bring a fragile new life into a dangerous old universe. Fantasy and science fiction are wed like never before in a sexy, subversive drama for adults. This specially priced volume collects the first arc of the smash hit series The Onion A.V. Club calls ‘the emotional epic Hollywood wishes it could make.’ Collects SAGA #1-6

Schmorgesborg: The TNU box offcie preview

The holiday movie season takes off today with three major releases, because the studios hope you’ll squeeze in a movie or two after the shopping madness. Most years, Thanksgiving gives us at least one movie with blockbuster potential, but not this year. Instead 2012 gives us a strange mix of family, drama, and a remake nobody asked for.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….

1984 was a simpler time. Darth Reagan ruled the land, Lionel Richie was singing all night long, and Los Angeles hosted the Olympic Games. At the movies, audiences were treated to the action film “Red Dawn.” The movie starred Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Charlie sheen, Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey. In the 1984 film, the United States was invaded by the Soviet Union and its up to a bunch of high school kids to save the country. In those days the Soviets were always the bad gys in movies.

Flash forward to 2009. Why 2009? Because that’s the year the new “Red Dawn” was filmed. The movie was scheduled for a Thanksgiving 2010 release, but due to financial trouble, the studio shelved the remake. There are some changes from the 1984 film. For instance, In the new movie, North Korea invades the United States, not the Soviets. The location also changed from Colorado to Washington state. But wait, there’s more! While the movie sat on a shelf, actor Chris Hemsworth as became a  superstar thanks to “Thor” and “Avengers.” How this will help Dawn’s box office is anyones guess, but I think Hemsworth is popular and will help “Red Dawn” take in about $15 million.

 

Hmm, let’s see if I got this straight:

A young man who survives a disaster at sea is hurtled into an epic journey of adventure and discovery. While cast away, he forms an unexpected connection with another survivor … a fearsome Bengal tiger.

 

 

Riiiiight, because that would happen. “Life of Pi” is based on the novel by Yann Martel. I know the book is very popular, and a perennial  best seller. But, I never thought to myself “This would make a great movie!” Director Ang Lee saw potential in the book, and here we are. The last Ang Lee movie I enjoyed was “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” way back in 2000. I was a fan of his work, but he lost me with his disastrous “Hulk” flick in 2003. But hey, it could be worse. At one point M. Night Shyamalan was supposed to direct “Life of Pi.”

Fans of the book will go see this, as will people wondering why the hell tiger doesn’t just eat the dude. But that would make it a short film, hurting its Oscar chances. I’m thinking “Life of Pi” will take in about $25 million.

The other big release this weekend is the animated “Rise of the Guardians.” I have no idea what this movie is about, but according to IMDB “When the evil spirit Pitch launches an assault on Earth, the Immortal Guardians team up to protect the innocence of children all around the world.” Oh, okay then. That didn’t help much. All I know is the animation creeps me out. It reminds of that owl movie from a couple of years ago.

Chris Pine voices Jack Frost, and he’s helped by Santa and other friends. I guess they’re the guardians. But why does Santa Claus have tattooed arms? Strange, even by my standards. The Easter Bunny looks more like a kangaroo than a rabbit, and I have no idea what the other things are. Well, that’s my opinion, but I”m sure others will be giddy to see this. “Rise of the Guardians” will take in about $12 million.

I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving, take a moment to remember John’s collar-bone and enjoy your time with friends and family. If you see any of these movies, let us know what you thought.

 

 

 

 

Something Shiny This Way Comes 11/20/12

It only looks like a light week if you aren’t into video games.

DVD/Blu Ray

They’re here to serve you some action

The Expendables 2: Stallone and the gang return in this action packed sequel. This time with 100% more Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme Trailer

CDs

Rebel Soul: Kid Rock‘s 12th album

Unapologetic: The 7th release by Rihanna

Global Warming: Pitbull‘s 7th release

Coldplay: Live 2012: Live Coldplay music recorded during their Mylo Xyloto Tour

AC/DC Live at River Plate: The first Live AC/DC album in 20 years

Video Games

Is this new system for U? (See what I did there?…I’m sorry)

Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two: Mickey and Oswald team up in the sequel to the Wii exclusive Epic Mickey. The sequel is available on all platforms, which is good news for those that don’t own a Wii. Trailer

Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale: Remember the awesome game Super Smash Brothers Melee, where you and your friends beat the snot out of each other as Nintendo characters? Sony is bringing their own twist on the game with the Playstation exclusive fighting game where you can pit Kratos from God of War against Sackboy from Little Big Planet and who doesn’t want to do that? Trailer

Hitman: Absolution: Agent 47 returns in the sequel to 2006’s Hitman: Blood Money (Available on PC, Xbox 360 and PS3) Trailer

Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse: With an original story, this game is based on the popular Family Guy show on Fox.

This week sees the release of Nintendo‘s new game system the Wii U. Is this the system that will break Nintendo into the Next Gen console? Will they finally reach the “Hardcore Gamer”? Only time will tell. The system released on Sunday 11/18 along with 23 titles. Here’s the list according to IGN.

So what catches your eye? Let us know!

The final nightmare: The TNU box office preview

Everybody relax, our long national nightmare is nearly over. “Twilight: Braking Dawn Part 2” is now in theatres. They will never again invade Comic Con, or ruin vampire movies for anyone over 18. We survived America, well done.

Okay, clearly  I’m not a Twilight fan. I don’t understand the fascination with the books or movies, but to be fair neither was aimed at my demographic. However, a lot of people are obsessed with the Twilight saga which means bug bucks at the box office. I think the final movie in the series takes home over $100 million this weekend. I find that depressing, but that’s just me. I don’t believe any of the Nerds Uncanny will be seeing this, so don’t expect a review of any kind. Unless of course Furiated sees it and writes a review, but that would require him to do something for the site.

In a sane world, “Lincoln” would be the number one movie this weekend. This flick is getting excellent buzz, and is sure to be an Oscar contender.  When it was announced Steven Spielberg would direct, I was a bit skeptical.  I’m not a huge Steven Spielberg fan, his films are hit or miss with me. But when he cast Daniel Day Lewis in the lead, I was hooked. Lewis is one of the best actors in the world, and I suspect another Oscar nod is in his future. This movie should make somewhere around $45 million or so. Its aimed at an older audience than Twilight, which works in its favor.

Also out in limited release is David O. Russell’s “Silver Linings Playbook.” If it’s not playing near you’ll have to be patient. According to The Los Angeles Times, “Silver Linings Playbook” will open  in 400 theaters on Thanksgiving eve, the rest of us will have to wait. The L.A. Times report goes on to say The Weinstein Company is planning a slow unveiling throughout the rest of the year. This sucks for fans who want to see the movie, but its brilliant marketing for award season. By slowly rolling out the film, the Weinstein are keeping  “Silver Linings Playbook” fresh in voters minds.

 

NFL Week 11: Moonraker

Four years ago, Donovan McNabb forgot to eat his Campbell’s Chunky Soup and had to settle for a tie. His mom was not happy. Last week, the 49ers and Rams battled to a 24-all stalemate, which led to their collective mothers espousing the benefits of nice hot chunky soup that fills them up right. It also led to some confusion on our part, in terms of how to call our picks for that game. ESPN’s expert picks page has it down as a win, and that’s good enough for us. Everyone and their soup-loving moms picked San Francisco, so that one little game isn’t going to affect the standings either way.

John’s “fuck it, I’m doing the opposite of you guys” approach, however, was actually effective this week. With an 11-3 record (better than Nate Silver, even), he gained a bit of ground on Laneit as a result.  Meanwhile, Furiated doesn’t care that his name isn’t even a real word; he’s too busy celebrating the Saints’ victory with the ’72 Dolphins.

Don Shula loves the Rock N Rollercoaster.

Here’s this week’s chart thingy.

MIA @ BUF Thu 8:20 PM
ARI @ ATL Sun 1:00 PM
TB @ CAR Sun 1:00 PM
CLE @ DAL Sun 1:00 PM
GB @ DET Sun 1:00 PM
JAC @ HOU Sun 1:00 PM
CIN @ KC Sun 1:00 PM
NYJ @ STL Sun 1:00 PM
PHI @ WAS Sun 1:00 PM
NO @ OAK Sun 4:05 PM
SD @ DEN Sun 4:25 PM
IND @ NE Sun 4:25 PM
BAL @ PIT Sun 8:20 PM
CHI @ SF Mon 8:30 PM
Last Week	10-4	11-3	8-6	9-5
Overall	87-58	80-65	77-68	91-54

The Dollar Bin: A relaunch party!

Last year, DC successfully relaunched their entire comics line with the New 52. Regardless of what you think of the reboot, I believe DC did the right thing by launching a bunch of new titles a week. This gave fans a chance to try new books they otherwise would never buy.

In October 2012 Marvel started their own universe “relaunch”called Marvel Now! But unlike DC, Marvel has launched one, maybe two books a week, missing a great opportunity to attract new readers. This week however, Marvel Now! kicks into overdrive with four new series.

All-New X-Men #1

Writer:  Brian Michael Bendis Artist:  Stuart Immonen

It’s a blast from the past as the original five students of Professor X – Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Iceman, Angel and Beast – are plucked from the past and brought to the present. But what they find, the state that their future selves are in and the state of Xavier’s dream, is far from the future they dreamed of. And how will the X-Men of the present deal with their past coming crashing forward?

 

 

Somewhat new, not very different. I’ll give the book a shot, but I’m not expecting much.  You know, I look forward to the day Brian Michael Bendis no longer uses the Marvel universe as his personal playground. That day will come, I’m sure of it, But until then we’re stuck with this. It’s a shame Stuart Immonen is attached to the All-New X-Men because I like his work very much.

 

Thor God Of Thunder #1

Writer :  Jason Aaron Artist :  Esad Ribic

Throughout the ages, the gods of the Marvel Universe have been vanishing, their mortal worshippers left in chaos. NOW! the Mighty Thor follows a trail of blood that threatens to consume his past, present and future selves. The only hope for these ravaged worlds lies with the God of Thunder unraveling the gruesome mystery of the God Butcher!

Jason Aaron did some nice things a few years ago with Ghost Rider. His take on Thor could be even better.

 

X-Men Legacy Vol 2 #1

Writer :  Simon Spurrier Artist :  Diogenes Neves

Legion, the most powerful and unstable mutant in the world and son to Professor Charles Xavier, has killed gods and reshaped the face of the universe. NOW! in the aftermath of Avengers vs. X-Men, Legion will finally attempt to conquer his demons and embrace his father’s legacy!

I thought Legion was dead? Oh right, this is comics, silly me. Not sure if Legion can carry his own title, but I’m willing to find out.

 

Fantastic Four #1

Writer:  Matt Fraction Artist:  Mark Bagley

Four adults. Two kids. One ‘car.’ NOW! begins a journey through all of infinite time and space.

Now this book looks like fun.Matt Fraction takes over Marvel’s first family and brings with him artist Mark Bagley. Very glad Bagley is back, he  belongs with Marvel, his DC stuff never seemed right. I haven’t bought a Fantastic Four book since the Carlos Pacheco days, about 10 years now, but I think that’s about to change…

 

 

Meanwhile, a the hall of justice….

Death of the Family continues in the Batman books. The arc has been excellent so far, if you can find the issues you should check it out.